What matters in life?

These past few weeks has been really busy with work. I was working overtime after overtime; lacking in sleep , wasting my only day off in front of a tv and watching shows, or spending most of my days lounging at a coffee shop with a cup or two of coffee. When. I feel like doing something productive, I’ll hang out with friends. I have not gotten the chance to write another post in a while since the beginning of last month. I could easily write a small piece here and there, but it wouldn’t be worth your time to read it. I was on a mission to work as many hours as I could so that I could afford my trip and it was definitely worth it.

My life before the trip ( I recently came back from my 10-day Europe trip) was mundane, I’d say. In a sense, where I do my daily routine—wake up, watch tv, do dishes, go to coffee shops and read articles here and there, go home, cook dinner, do dishes and watch more tv shows/movie and then sleep. Usually because whenever I’m off, my friends and family are not usually free. Then I revolve my free time around my boyfriend’s schedule during weekdays, to get a sense of purpose… The downside of working in the medical field. Some days, you are off on certain weekdays, work on holidays and work on weekends. Being part of the medical team is like sacrificing your social life with friends and family.

I don’t mind having this kind of routine because I am happy and content to where I am with life right now and whom I’m sharing it with. I’m quiet used to the simple life. I still considered myself blessed.

Life is not all fun, party and extravagant travels. I have learned that if you are happy with what you have now and not asking for more or to being greedy with wishes from God, then you are in your life where it is balanced. Greed can come in many different forms.

Materialistic greed is at the top, I would say. Society has molded our perspective when it comes to owning things with monetary values.

Being abundant in materialistic, and etc will eventually loses they’re value because you forget what is more important in your life—family, friends, and God. Any materialistic greed are nothing but gifts from the devil, whom want to separate you from what really matter. Materialistic needs/wants wont fill-in the void that you feel from the emptiness that you feel from being alone/lonely. Another person’s touch of love, care are one of those traits that make you feel you are worth someone’s time and worth of God’s plan.

Greed has its limit.

A couple of years back, I started a new job that was very demanding and on top of that I started dating a guy, whom ended up getting transferred to California due to his job (He is still in the Navy) 3-months into dating him. Horrible timing.

It was unexpected twist into our relationship. I saw a future with him, however, I did not saw myself moving to different city or country every 2-3 years due to his job. I couldn’t see myself leaving my parents alone and be with a man, let alone leaving my parents for someone who was not even my husband…You might think that was a crazy reason, what if I get married to someone with a job that demand him to travel often for work? What would I do? During this situation it would be different. He would be my husband and not just someone whom I have a relationship with. It’s a different story.

I would only ask of my husband that I will get to visit my parents as much as I want to. My parents are the dearest two people in my life that I will never abandon no matter what. Growing up in a culture where you do not show any affection to any member of your family, only show your gratitude and affection through actions, my parents know how much I love them by the way I take care of them in my own little ways such as visiting them on my weekends off, texting them daily bible verses, and checking up on them everyday without a miss.

In return, I would be that wife from Proverb 31, The wife of Noble Charactera couple of her characters are, “she gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family…she watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”

I did not chose that man because he made me choose between him and my family. What in the world would a guy who said he loved me made me choose between him and my family? He was not a man who truly loved me. He was too greedy. All he could think of was his need, and not mine. No sense of compromise. He was too desperate to have my all for himself. I was heart broken and saw he was not the man God has intended for me, but a lesson to learn.

The relationship with that man, although, it wasn’t an happy ending like I hoped to, I’m glad he was a lesson learned and now, I know truly know what I want and need in a man.

Currently, I have a special man, who is nothing like I had ever imagined. The first time meeting him, I immediately saw him as a potential partner. There was so much love, chemistry and trust that I don’t even know how to describe it. It was a rare spark in my heart and in my life. So I took my chance on my own happy ending.

We’ve probably all heart a client, boss or a friend says, “I’m not sure what I want exactly, but I’ll know it when I see it.” Kind of funny because this saying was a little bit related to the case law in the United States Supreme Court, Jacobellis v. OHIO 1964.

There are so many things about this man I want to write about. If I could sum it up in a sentence, I would say that all of these about him are very attractive to me: his love, his affection, his strong character, his goofiness, his tender-caring heart, his charm, his smile, his wit, and his ways…and much more! I am still in my own la-la-land when it comes to his man. He is truly my match-made in heaven? I hope so. I want to be his wife and bear his children when the time comes.

God is good. God is love. He wants the best for all of us. Be patient with Him and he will do wonders in your life like how He did with mine.

Sometime down the road, I’ll look back on these times and remember His love for me if you just give him time and patience to do his magic touch into your life.

What matters to me right now is that I found ‘The One’ that will take me onto our journey called life.

Welcome to Andalusia. This was taken during my afternoon picnic date with my boyfriend with packages of cheese, sausages, snacks, a liter of water and a huge bottle of beer!

A little side track story:

This past 10-days I went out of the country and went to the beautiful city of Seville on my last 5 days of the trip. I truly enjoyed my days over here. A warm changed of pace into my work-centered life.

I went on a trip with my boyfriend. I truly loved my vacation time with him. He was such a good travel buddy and a drinking buddy too! I have never consumed so much beer in my life until I arrived in this city. Drinking beer early in the morning is such a normal thing in this city.

The relaxing vibe that I got from everyone; the smiles, the warm welcome made my heart at peace and made me enjoyed my vacation. I was able to finally relaxed and forgot about my stress(es) that were haunting me for few weeks and took a re-charge.

I wish I could write more, but I think I’ll pen it on another blog. There are so many things to write about my vacation to Paris and Seville. So much more!!!

In the U.S., most of us know the struggle of working hard will eventually pays off. I learned to value my happiness and to take myself out on trips to revigorate my wounded soul…from the harsh reality of this so called adulting.

It’s not all about work, work, work. The is also a time for play! I encourage everyone to explore the world. There are so many things to see, experience and learn!

I have so many things to write about, but I don’t know where to even begin. A lot of events happened lately.

Internally, I have been struggling so much and I wonder if I want to pen them now on this blog or not.

Anyways, while writing this blog, I chanced upon this song on my Daily Discover Playlist feed from Spotify and it tugged some strings inside me.

Take a look around me
Taking pages from a magazine
Been looking for the answer
Ever since we were seventeen
You know the truth can be a weapon
To fight this world of ill intentions
A new answer to the same question
How many times will you learn the same lesson?
I think they got it all wrong
We just got to hold on
And on, and on, and on
‘Cause we’re gonna be legends
Gonna get their attention
What we’re doing here ain’t just scary
It’s about to be legendary
Yeah we’re gonna be legends
Gonna teach ’em all a lesson
Got this feeling that we’re so sweet caring
It’s about to be legendary
This is what we came for
And we couldn’t want it anymore
Could never turn back now
Got to leave it all on the floor
Been dreaming of the payoff
Through the struggles and the trade-offs
Write in truth heading on the way up
Tell them the truth but they think it’s just made up
I think they got it all wrong
We just got to hold on
And on, and on, and on
‘Cause we’re gonna be legends
Gonna get their attention
What we’re doing here ain’t just scary
It’s about to be legendary
Yeah we’re gonna be legends
Gonna teach ’em all a lesson
Got this feeling that we’re so sweet caring
It’s about to be legendary
Eventually their gonna know who’s right
To make a stand you got to win the fight
Can’t stand the heat then just stay out the light
For you might never make it out alive
You gotta live without the columbines
Let everybody hear your battle cry
Yeah we’re gonna be legends
Gonna get their attention
What we’re doing here ain’t just scary
It’s about to be legendary
Yeah we’re gonna be legends
Gonna teach ’em all a lesson
Got this feeling that we’re so sweet caring
It’s about to be legendary

In our life, at least once, we wanted be legend one way or another, but truth be told we are just simple human beings. Not incredible enough to be legendary. We can only wish it. We can only dream it. Not an achievable dream in my case. God has other plan for me and that is not to be legend but a humble person.

I have dreamed of being one of those geniuses who discover something useful for the humanity…day-dreaming my life away, sometimes, when the devil whispers words that bring down my mood and make me look at my life like I’m a useless person that will not be able to contribute something or to lead another life to be better life.

We all have that ‘weak’ moment. I’m not a stranger to it. I have my ups and downs with my mood, but I never let it dictate how to live my life. It is perfectly normal to feel down and its a part of being human. To have weaknesses that’s how God made mold us. He wants us to rely to him both in good and bad mood; to never forget about Him. He is always watching over us.

So I let my weaknesses emerge, sometimes. I cry and I let myself be vulnerable to the human emotions, because that’s just how God made me. By crying, it helps me recover myself onto a better mood because eventually, I tell myself that it was a useless reason to cry and it make me stop crying. Then I laughed it out. Weird, huh?

We all deal with our emotions differently. I hope, you will get through whatever it is that is bothering you. If you need someone, a stranger to talk to, ping me here and we can be ‘friends’ or maybe, I’ll jsut be the listener and you can be the story-teller. I’ll leaned my ear and give you advice if you need it.

At times, I like to talk to strangers about my problems because even though I tell them the darkest secrets I have, their judgment won’t really affect my life because they are stranger! Talking to strangers, helps me decrease my worry and stress. Some things are hard to open up to friends and family to be honest.

If you need a person to talk to, let me know. I’ll listen to you and you listen to my problems too! We can be each other’s therapist!

It is good to have friends with strangers. Telling your problems or penning it down is quite liberating for me. I actually kind of loving it.

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